It started with my daily read at Dress A Day. Erin writes about dresses and dress-related topics nearly every day. She likes a lot of the same vintage, mid-century styles that I do, so it's always fun to go through her site and make notes of things I want to make. The post I've linked to is from earlier this week, her reaction to Anne Slowey, of Elle magazine, saying that the dress is on its way out, with an "expiration date" for the dress being "the end of August."

Given some of the online communities I frequent, this has been quite a talked about subject this week. Mostly because it's ridiculous - I'm not going to get rid of all my dresses because a writer for a (second rate, boring, WASP-y) magazine says so. I went to fashion design school, and I love clothes, but the fashion industry as a whole is lame and exclusionary. I read fashion magazines because I like looking at pictures of pretty clothes. But I don't allow myself to feel backed in to a corner by it. As a commenter on the Dress A Day post (and thousands of others) noted, there's a huge difference between "fashion" and "style". And 9 times out of 10, a person's own style doesn't fit into the current fashion. It's completely ridiculous how much this dresses-going-out-of-style is being talked about right now too!

I don't think Dress A Day's Erin was talking from the point of view of "what am I to DO? You mean I can't wear my dresses after the summer?!" Erin's a stylish lady, sewing a lot of her own clothes, most of them (really fantastic) dresses. She made the post basically to say 1) aren't fashion dictations hilarious? And 2)if you like wearing dresses stock up now because they might be harder to come by in the fall. Or start sewing and make your own.

So after reading the post and all the commments on it, I decided to see what the rest of Teh Internets was saying about Ms. Slowey's "predictions" on the dress after summer. I came across this NY Times article as a reaction to the Elle News Director's thoughts on the fate of the dress. Which was written by a straight, white man.

Apparently, women in dresses are merely decoration to the urban landscape. Not wearing dresses is like robbing the city of its beauty. Women in pants takes away from their femininity and apparently makes them less sexy. And, according to one dress-wearer that the NYT writer asked, "guys like it because it's so feminine". After I took a quick break to puke, I continued looking around on the internet and came to the response to the NYT article at Feministing.

Okay.

Has 3rd wave feminism taught us nothing?!! Saying or believing that "all" women believe/do/say the same thing is counter-revolutionary. As is in-fighting with fellow women when we should be working together!

I like wearing dresses. Not just because it's "ironic" (*gasp!* a feminist wearing a dress?!), but more because it's fun. I enjoy design and fabrics and vintage, mid-century fashion, much of which are dresses. I don't have a perfect body: some of the commenters on Feministing suggested in saying that people who wear dresses "obviously" aren't plus sized. I'm plus sized and I'm a bit taller than the "average" woman. And I'm not overly graceful (although I'm no bull in a china shop!). I don't wear dresses/skirts to please anyone but myself. One commenter at Feministing suggested that we DO dress for others in that we wear sweats at home and dress up when we go out. Maybe I do that, but I dress up when I go out, because I feel good when I look good. Now, what may make me feel good is a certain glance or smile from people upon taking in how I'm dressed, but I'm still wearing what I want. I don't dress the way I do for other people's approval, but getting positive reactions is a nice added bonus. If I wanted to dress for other people and their approval, my wardrobe would probably look more like this month's issue of Vogue, instead of a mix of vintage, children's-wear-inspired, and retired riot grrrl.

Many women on Feministing (and, well, everywhere) noted how uncomfortable they feel when dressed up, due to all the cat-calls, leers, ogling and other rude reactions by men on the street. This is an everyday occurrance, and I hate that it impacts women so much that they just don't wear dresses or don't feel safe leaving the house alone.

It's okay to look. If you're out and you see a nice looking woman (or man), it's fine to look and maybe even say "I really like your (skirt/dress/sweater/purse)". I don't think there's anything wrong with that. When I'm out and I see a nice garment, I'll tell a person that I like it. And I've received similar comments from men and women while I'm out. And I appreciate it.

If someone's reaction to the way I look is a whistle or a cat-call or other inappropriate comment, I'm going to tell them in no uncertain terms how uncool that is. I can be rather caustic when stuff like this happens to me and afterwards, I always think "you have to watch your mouth, or one day they're not just going to say something rude and take off". I know I need to be careful, but at the same time, if I want to go out in a dress, I should be able to without the fear of being accosted on the street. And if the person is staring or ogling, I just stare right back at them. People often look away when you stare back.

And there is a difference between "looking" and "staring/ogling". Example: I was down town last week and I saw a woman, maybe a couple years younger than me, in a nice top and a shortish skirt (maybe about 3-4 inches above her knee). I looked at her, and smiled as she passed me. She was cute, well dressed and had nice legs. But the guy walking past me, with his young daughter, stopped in mid-sentence, and turned right around to stare at her and stared for a really long time. The woman didn't see any of this going on, because she had walked past, so I looked at the ogler, made a disgusted sound and said "gross" as I pushed past him.

It's not that I have this feeling of invincibility or that nothing's ever happened to me. I feel vulnerable about being out by myself all the time, and the way I dress is often a factor. But I'm not going to let it keep me indoors, or dictate the way I dress.

Some of you may remember how, a few years ago while living in Lethbridge, I was very aggressively stalked one summer night. I was followed for the better part of a couple hours while trying to get home after watching movies at a friends house. I had gone from work right to the friend's house, so I was still dressed for work when I walked home that night. I had on a pink and purple flowery peasent dress, about knee-length, with little puffed sleeves. Nothing overt, or sexy, really. Yet, the entire weekend afterward all I could think was "I shouldn't have walked home if I was wearing a dress".

Clothing does not dictate who you are. I thought this was officially realised at the beginning of 3rd wave feminism in the late 80s. I like dresses and heels and false eye lashes and push-up bras. And I have an IQ of like 130. The two are not mutually exclusive. The amount of people who still don't get this is baffling. The whole point of the 3rd wave, I thought, was to allow women to explore all avenues that they were interested in. To march in Take Back The Night events, and stand up for our reproductive rights, and knit sweaters and wear dresses and bake cookies.

The only thing that really came out of this afternoon's searching-the-internet-on-company-time is that I feel bad for people who feel pigeon-holed by the status quo. Whether it's "I should wear this, because the fashion magazines tell me" or "I shouldn't wear this because of what someone on the street might say". I understand that while it's "just" fashion, clothing is a very powerful tool that has very different connotations in different societies.

I realise that not everyone is as comfortable with their body due to past experiences, society and/or the neighbourhood they live in. But if you're going to let that control you for the rest of your life, instead of just doing what YOU want to, then you're missing out.

Thoughts? Comments? Personal Experiences? Please share - this is the first public post I've done in a while!

after writing that, I want to write a zine again!